I pretend that you do not exist. At least no more. I meditate away the chaos you brought into my mind. All i remember is i am trying.

Trying to hold on.

The question is until when?

When everything is right, when you is the right onep, i should not be a burden, my existence should be matter. I am matter. I deserve.

I do not want to recognizing what I had, 10 or 20 years too late… When feels right, ask me again, hoping it is still not late.

For now and for 2018, I am putting all my faiths in Allah. And for now, I am deleting all.


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