Long time, babes…
I… Hmm… Do not have reason for my M.I.A. I just got lazy and lost.
I just celebrated my birthday almost a month ago and I have totally no idea what to do with my life. Nah, I just feel that I am losing something somewhere in the middle of the road, and it is not even past first quarter of the year. I just hope the rest of my year is sailing smooth.
Boyfriend? None. It is not that I do not want one, heck I dream a blissful marriage in future, but… I can not afford for another heartbreak and I am running out of tears to accompany that. I am not cold- numb- shitless person but I am building wall to guard myself up. It is different between wanting and chasing the one you love. I might love someone and want him, but I will not chase him. No more.
Future? I do have one. It is full of beautiful things and infinite loves. I might stumble here and there but I believe Allah will be my guidance throughout the way, the best Planner of all. I believe I am going to where I am supposed to be. I have lost a friend already and yes, selfishly speaking, I feel nothing. All I care about is my own happiness. You want to talk to me, you come to talk to me. You want to ignore me, I am not losing anything. I do not owe my happiness to anyone. I am the one responsible for my happiness. Not you. And no one else.
Allah is the BEST planner.
Everything happens at the right time with the right person for the best reason. I want to have faith in that. And I want to have faith in my ownself. I might not totally 100%-ly love myself yet but I am going that way now. Please bear with me.
All I need is good words from all, positive vibes and endlessly loves.
Pray for me.