My dear Ain,
Yes girl… You thought your name is soooo typically-unindividualistically-not unique-one, but who knows? Your dad named you as same as Yu Ain. Come on… He is so individually talented. And yesss… You follow his instagram just because you got the same name as him. Be proud. Hold up your name high… As high as the sky, as bright as the sun, shines like the stars.
When you read this, it means 2017 has come, 2016 just ended. I want you to know that you did well on 2016. You made it through. You shall be proud of yourself nevertheless what had happen. You cried, and got stronger from it. You felt sad, alone and you became wiser from the loneliness. You were happy/joyous and you learnt to be more grateful from it. Pat your shoulder, hold your head up, ” Good job, Ain.”, tell yourself that and 2017 just begun with new hopes, adventures and experiences.
2016; You felt helpless, discomforted, alone… You found comfort in imaginary world, you found comfort in looking at Xiumin, I understand that. You did all you can to be alive. Life is for living. But Ain, enough is enough… isnt it? Do not be afraid anymore. Let your heart falls for love again. Do not build wall. Do not scare to be hurt. Trust people more. Xiumin isnt real, thats why he wont hurt you. You are real, love…
You cried to sleep sometimes and you stopped crying since you found THE comfort. I was happy for you yet I am afraid of you. How far you gonna be like this? For how long? You woke up screaming your head off in the middle of night because of the same nightmares that relive in your dream, I am crying my heart out for you. You are so fragile, sweetheart yet you pretend you are so strong. Do not hold back the tears, do not suppress the sadness.
My dear Ain,
My precious Ain…
Find your happiness in 2017. Find your own world in 2017. Screw people who tell you what you can or can not, screw them who tell you your dreams arent big/good enough. Screw them all. Live for yourself, dear. If you want to leave all of these and go somewhere to find happiness, searching for yourself, GO!
My little Ain,
Learn to love yourself more. Never say that no one love you, I DO LOVE YOU… So much. I even die for you. Please Ain… Let the wall down, burn the bridge down… Be truer to yourself, own up your feeling. If you sad, give yourself times to cry. Do not pretend you are ok. You are NOT!
It is ok not to be ok.
Ain… My dear,
Find happiness in 2017.